Boy meets host, host lets boy down. Boy leaves host for prettier new host, only to find her completely unavailable. Boy then finds the webhost of his dreams and lives happily ever after.

As I mentioned earlier, I had read good things about Fused Network. The positive things I read were striking in their gushing praise. Nervously I signed up for the service. Pricing was attractive. Not the cheapest, but I wasn’t looking for the cheapest. I signed up for the Level 4 shared Web Hosting Package, giving me 5 Gigs of storage, 1 gig Transfer, 1000 email accounts, 500 subdomains, 30 MySQL DB’s, 50 FTP accounts and Free Setup. These numbers were more than sufficient for me, and I liked that Fused did not play the “Unlimited Diskspace/Bandwith” marketing game. The numbers are real numbers with no surprises.

Sign up was easy, and soon after phone verification I received an email with all of my relevant account information. David at Fused Network handled transferring my sites and nameservers to Fused. He advised me on how to transfer the domains and gave me a timetable of what to expect. By this point, I was so thrilled with the service that I purchased the domains from Fused. I had zero downtime through the transfer. Fused Network handled everything, and it went very well.

Fused Network uses cPanel, with a LAMP (Linux, Apache, MySQL and PHP) powered backed running the latest versions of the LAMP stack. I love that their systems are “primarily 100% open source powered” since I have a strong interest in Open Source. Free nightly backups are included. As far as the technical aspects go, this link will go a lot farther than my parroting it. Fused’s offerings are solid.

Where Fused Network really shines is in support. I have a customer service background, and pride myself on being someone that would do whatever it took to get a job done for a customer. David and Fused Network seem to have the same philosophy. Any support ticket I have filed has been answered almost immediately. The site claims their average response time is three minutes, and I can vouch for that. Communication is excellent. Any time Fused has a problem, I am informed and kept up to date. Early in December they ran into a forty-eight hour instability problem that didn’t affect me, the emails came constantly throughout it. Once it was solved, a credit was offered to anyone that had suffered even one cent in lost revenue. A status blog was set up in the event of any future problems. The professionalism exhibited during what must have been a difficult time was inspiring. It reaffirmed my choice was the correct one. If you have had bad or adequate web hosting, you honestly will not believe how you are treated at Fused Network. The email and ticket support systems work so well I haven’t had to use the 24×7 phone support.

My experience with Fused Network has been extremely positive. I’ve been dying to get the word out. I have no problem recommending something I am happy with, and love to advocate great things. Fused Network is special. It is rare to get this level of service this day and age. If you are looking for a web host, look no further.

In Part 1 of this review, I said you can’t really trust positive reviews because a lot of times the author has an affiliate program set up, where they get money based on someone signing up. In full disclosure, I have an affiliate program with Fused Network. There is one big difference, though. Fused gives you the opportunity to donate any earnings you have to the charity of your choice. Any revenue I earn based on this review will be donated to charity. This is based on Fused Network’s outstanding example. I’d like to share an email I received this month. It highlights what I like so much about Fused Network and David. This letter is a perfect example of what is so great about working with them, and sets a great example to follow.

The email:

The Biggest Holiday Giveaway ever by Fused Network

It’s the season of giving and with the snow plastering the ground, the weather outside being frightful and hibernating in our offices being so delightful (although let’s avoid starting a warm fire with the carpet).. it’s time to have the biggest holiday giveaway ever!

Now, I know what you may be thinking.
“But David, I’ve already got everything I want by hosting with Fused Network. You’ve satisfied all my corporal needs!”

Perfect then, we’ll give it to someone else!

The Biggest Holiday Giveaway ever:
During the month of December, Fused Network will be donating 100% of our revenue to the charities of your choice. All new accounts that are signed up will have the opportunity to select a charity of their choice. We’ve been absolutely blessed every day of this year so far so it’s our chance to give back.

It isn’t often that we get to change the world. Sure, we offer great web hosting and from the testimonials we’ve received there’s an impact we make in others lives but it’s simply not enough. As a show of our gratitude, we’re giving you the chance to give back to those charities that have made a difference in your lives, the lives of others & are genuinely making the world a better place.

So how does it work?
Well, it’s fairly simple in concept. Any new accounts signed up between now & December 31st will have the opportunity to fill in a ‘Charity’ field. Enter the charity of your choice in the field and we’ll take care of the rest. Daily, we’ll be calculating the totals on our blog & even interviewing different users about the charities they’ve selected.

Of course, we like to put our money where our mouths are so all of the revenue that isn’t from new signups is being donated directly to the Salvation Army. If a user forgets to select a charity, that’s where it will go as well. We see them in Downtown Toronto feeding the homeless daily and I’ve watched them time & time again make sacrifices for others: Now that’s what I like to see

More information regarding the ‘Biggest Holiday Giveaway’ ever will be available on the giveaway page here:
http://www.fusednetwork.com/give.php

Be sure to tell your friends, family, co-workers & even your enemies.
It’s a season of giving. Let’s give wholeheartedly.

If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to contact me!
Have a jolly, jolly Christmas.. 

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Originally I had signed up with 1and1. It wasn’t a bad decision. I found them easy to use. It wasn’t too difficult to get my sites up and running. Support was adequate, I could phone when I had a problem, sit on hold for twenty minutes and then get to talk to “Larry” from India. 90% of the time the help was good. The 10% was a real problem.

Occasionally I would get articles picked up by Slashdot. I would put in a call to 1and1 as a courtesy to let them know I was expecting heavy traffic. In April, I had one article that really took off. Multiple sites besides Slashdot carried it. I had a two hour warning before the initial burst, so I put in a phone call to warn 1and1. I was reassured that it would be handled. Five hours later my site was down. I could get no real answers from 1and1, the answers I did get conflicted. The bottom line was that the most successful thing I had written was offline for over 48 hours. I still had huge traffic from Coral Cache and the like, and when I went back up traffic was good for a few more days. I received an ominous email from 1and1 warning me I could pay to move to dedicated hosting or face severe charges for the next traffic surge. I took a job and just gave up on my sites. I couldn’t justify the additional expense, so I surrendered the readership I had slowly built. I figured the old adage was true, you get what you pay for, and I had paid for cheap hosting.

I decided in October to get back in the game. My contract with 1and1 was drawing to a close. I figured I’d switch web hosts and go for it again. Since my domains were registered through 1and1 I started to research how to cancel and retain ownership of the domains. It was then that the full price of my cheap hosting became apparent to me. I read over and over again about the nightmares people had canceling 1and1. People claimed to be charged, to have collection agencies after them for charges after they canceled and importantly, having their domains tied up. The sheer quantity of these complaints plus the uniformity of them gave them credence. I decided my best course of action was to keep a small package, not cancel, and move the important domains elsewhere. This worked. The downgrade and eventual domain transfers went smoothly, to 1and1’s credit. Unfortunately I’m being charged for something I had canceled, I still have to work that out.

I entered a two week hell of looking for a new host. The problem is that there are a lot of bad hosts out there with glowing reviews and a decent amount of good hosts with lukewarm reviews. I narrowed it down to Media Temple, ASmallOrange, Laughing Squid or Eleven2. A few emails with Eleven2 sealed the deal for me. I liked them so much that I prepaid for two years, getting a good deal.

I was excited and ready to go. I was nervous about transferring the sites, but reassured by Rodney, the owner, that their support was second to none and they would hold my hand through the process. The 24/7 support through AIM appealed to me, I figured it was a great way to get my hand held. I fired up a client, shot an instant message. Heard nothing. Hours went by, nothing. I filed a support ticket, it went unanswered. The next day, I sent a message saying I wanted to cancel my service. I got a nice response from Rodney that reassured me. I thought maybe I had overreacted and retracted my cancellation. I fired up the Instant Messenger later, and again got no response. Not once in 72 hours was I able to speak with anyone over IM. I don’t know if it was a bad weekend or not, or if it was an anomaly, but it was a complete customer service failure in my eyes and enough to make me cancel. The cancellation was pleasant enough, and I had no trouble receiving my funds, so I can give eleven2 credit there.

When the eleven2 problems started, I did deeper research into them. I read a few posts here and there on forums where people complained about them being inaccessible, which helped me in my decision to cancel. I started seeing posts about Fused Network. There weren’t many, but the ones I saw struck me in the overwhelming praise of their service. I started noticing David, from Fused, in these threads. He seemed genuine, the posters were very grateful to him. Based on this, I decided to sign up. It was a great decision.

That brings us to Part Two, I will post it tomorrow.

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Watching the CBS morning show yesterday (not by choice), I had the misfortune to find out about a new menace to society. If the general state of America, or my life for that matter, wasn’t enough to make it difficult to sleep the knowledge CBS news dropped yesterday was enough to ensure months of insomnia. Was it a realistic look at the American economy, and where it is headed? No. An update on our rapidly disappearing civil liberties? Worse. War coverage, with in depth analysis of the damage to ourselves and others? Sorry, if it were only that simple. This new nightmare has the power to destroy individuals, tear families apart and further widen the hole in the American social fabric. Can you handle the truth?! I’m about to drop it, hardcore style, so stop reading here if you want to spare yourself the horror.

Chapstick Addiction.

You read that right. That innocent tube sitting in your pocket that isn’t saying you are happy to see me is a dynamo of destruction. Heroin’s cute little sister. A gateway drug we dispense freely to our children. A salve that will steal any hope of salvation!

It got me thinking. I was recently in Manhattan, it was cold and windy. I had lost my chapstick and was too lazy or absent minded to get some. After three days of this, what was one of the first things I did when I returned home? I didn’t finish my novel. I didn’t make crazy love. I didn’t even check my email, which I was unable to access while gone! No, brothers and sisters, I went and grabbed that goddamn tube of chapstick and went overboard applying it. The first step to recovery is recognizing you have a problem.

Thankfully there are many resources on the web. Two relevant stories are here and here. The original, Lip Balm Anonymous, has many collected on one page. Links on the home page include:

-Chap Stick Conspiracy

-Sex Sells

-Lip Balm Drug Connection

-The Nightmare Never Ends

-Addict Denial Page

The page also mentions that the site was rated #327 in the book 505 Unbelievably Stupid Web Pages, but thankfully the author notes LBA is considering taking legal action against the author and publisher of the book. The book that is linked to and has a banner ad. I bet Carmex secretly funded the publication!

I know first hand the nightmare of addiction. I’ve been Straight Edge for over fifteen years, long since it fell out of fashion. As an old, clean Straight Edger, let me tell you–you don’t want to go down this path. It was over two years before I started to feel comfortable in my own skin. Now I find out I was really using, and my drug of choice was chapstick. I’ve been lying to myself all these years.

I was at a party a couple of years ago, and a teacher was hilariously referring to his students as “the Helmet Generation”. He recounted how these kids do nothing without a helmet, eat their shitty lunchables for lunch, play sports where there is no winner to protect esteem and generally are just coddled and soft. This Helmitification, if you will, is spreading across our entire society, and this “chapstick addiction” is as perfect an example as I’m likely to come across.

What are the costs of this addiction? The downside I’ve read is that it costs consumers about one hundred dollars a year. Your habit is stealing a movie and cheap dinner right out from under you! I live in Detroit. It gets very cold here for part of the year. My lips dry out, crack and bleed. That is why I use chapstick. Maybe I am buying into a conspiracy, but it really feels like I’m just putting something on my lips that makes them feel better. It really is an insult to people whose lives have been damaged by the ravages of addiction to lump chapstick usage in with crystal meth.

We are living in a dark time in America. Darker days are on the horizon. If anything, this news story will serve as a marker for a more innocent time. When most of the world is starving we worry about addiction to lip balm. Welcome to the home of the free and the brave. Can I get you a gallon of soda and a triple cheese burger?

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I was pleasantly surprised to find this aptly titled post:

Wordpress and WP Plugins used on this site.

It is…wait for it…a list of plugins used on that website. What I like is the list is made of of plug-ins that made the cut and are used. There is no speculation about how good it is. The ones that didn’t work well didn’t make the list. The plug-ins are nicely listed in a table that links to the plug-in itself, gives you the verion, a description, a comment and a category. This is going to be a big help to me. I already have read about a few plug-ins that will be useful that I was unaware of. The list will continue to be updated, which is very nice.

So there you have it, my second link of the day in as many weeks! Look for more content very soon, I have stuff to tell you about. Like how awesome my webhost is or how there is an amazing songwriter in New York City not getting her due! More soon, bastards!

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The first incident was based on the movie “What the #$*! Do We (K)now!?” The K in parenthesis should have been enough to discredit the movie for me, but I was unaware of it until four seconds ago. During one scene in the movie a story is told about how the future “Native Americans” were unable to see Colombus’ ships for some amount of time, because nothing in their experience gave them the ability to grasp it. The ships were invisible because it was beyond their power to comprehend them. I liked that story. I would use it as a metaphor to be slagging on someone. “Her husband is an asshole, but she is like the indians unable to see columbus’ boats!” Finally I was called out on it. The story does not stand up for a second to critical thinking. Plus it just isn’t true. So, I ate my words and moved on.

Then I watched “Zeitgeist” (and learned how to pronounce it!) I was troubled by the 9-11 conspiracy angle. If there were no plane parts left inside the Pentagon, because they had burned up in the fire, how were they able to identify the bodies? I used the phrase “looked like a controlled demolition” here and there in public. I felt ill at ease thinking these things, let alone talking about them. Don’t get me wrong, I see this administration for the bunch of bastards they are and would not put something like the conspiracy theories past them. I just happened upon this page, and felt like the idiot I was. I know better than to take only one source as authoritative (unless it is Sam Harris). I did in this instance, but I made sure to get back to everyone I had spoken with about it and apologized. I still like Zeitgeist, though!

These experiences brought me to this link:

The Critical Thinking Field Guide 

It is my first Link of the Day, and going by the way I add content to my sites, it might be my last.

The stakes are too high in this Idiotocracy to get lazy with my thinking. We live in a time where the Discovery Channel and History Channel devote airtime to UFO sightings and talk about Angels. Lots of Nostradomus junk has been on the air lately. I will remember to think critically about the nonsense I hear.

The ultimate conspiracy theory is that the government is behind the conspiracy theories. They produce them to create a feeling of doubt and helplessness in us. That one I like! I can’t promote it, though, after reading how to think critically.

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This is a tough question. I will take the opportunity of having no readers to publicly spell out my thinking and the flaws involved. I run a couple of websites. They get bogged down in my concept of perfectionism. I do nothing with them for vast amounts of time simply because I feel whatever I do will not meet my expectations. It is better to wait for the day when I magically meet them. Then something will happen!

I originally envisioned this site as a community site. A place where people could post their writing, photos, artwork, whatever and get support from likeminded people. Unfortunately, my choice of Wordpress may not have been the best choice for this platform. I like working with Wordpress though, so my concept of what this site could be has shifted. I’m going to go against conventional wisdom by using a very conventional concept: “It is what it is”.

I commit for the next few months to just throw anything at the wall here, and see if anything sticks. I may gain two loyal readers. I might create a community. I might fail silently and spectacularly, but at least I will have tried. One thing I will do is be very honest in my writing, even if it pains me.

Now go buy some absinthe or coffee!

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In that spirit, I’m going to try something new. I have an advertiser,  Absinthesupply, that I have always liked. During my normal three hour wake up routine this morning, I found an interesting article about Absinthe in the New York Times. It has a great history. Picasso drank it, as did Van Gogh (who threw a glass of it at Gauguin). I’m not going to plagiarize the article here. The point is that throughout history cool people drank it. So, if you want to be hip and avant-garde and at the same time fund my ramen noodle diet, read the article, come back and click the link. Or not. Whatever. Don’t blame me if you fail to capitalize on the chances of furthering your love life by looking cool serving Absinthe.

Click here for the link.

One more thing. I cannot drink alcohol, so if you have tried Absinthe, please leave a comment letting me know your experience. Does it live up to the hype?

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America is in a shortage of true characters. You might be lucky to know one or two. In my life I have been lucky to know one of the great ones, Edie Kerouac Parker. I’ve was fortunate enough through her to get exposure to the brilliant Henri Cru, William Burroughs, Allen Ginsberg, Henry Kingswell and so on. I say this not as some name dropper, only to establish some street cred for my link. The greats are dying off and a generation of sitcom watching bores are filling their ranks. To quote The National, “We’re half awake, in a fake empire.”

Spending time with the brilliant Timothy Moran, he made a point to show me a video of one of his friends. I was blown away by the uniqueness of Edgar Oliver. You have never seen anyone like this, I promise you. The mixture of intelligence, warmth and kindness is rare. The poem he reads is outstanding. The interview, fascinating. Enough of my words, here is the link:

Edgar Oliver Interview and Poetry

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Then J came back. It started with the excellent and highly recommended “More Light” from a few years ago, and then came full circle with “Free So Free”. The music is every bit as exciting and innovative as it was ten or fourteen years ago. At the time of this release I saw him for thirteen bucks with a crowd of about one hundred, just like the “good old days” that never existed but are nice to talk about as if they did.

J Mascis is on his game with this cd. Some songs rock like BIG ROCK SONGS. Others get funky and groovy. One does a neat trick that is even neater in concert. His guitar playing has never sounded better. His drumming has never been crazier or more freaked out, totally wrong in all the right ways. I think he is my favorite drummer and guitar player which means nothing to him or you folks reading this. I fancy myself an expert in these things, so you can take my word for it.

Ironically, the album has four songs about freedom, coming at the time when we were about to lose a lot of ours. GO RED WHITE AND BLUE!

The first song is “Freedom”, meaning when you put the cd in the player it will most likely be the one you hear. It has a disco beat that is completely unexpected but works. The guitar work is short and riffy. There is a weirdo tempo change that makes me love him and give the teens a chance to mosh. You can change the words in the chorus (if you sing along) to “Frida” and make it about Ms Kahlo.

“If thats How its Gotta be” is a pretty song that features the trick that was cool live. J is pretty open here, the lyrics are poignant:
“and i ran away from livin,
thought i wanted it that way
every step i should be givin
but i’m stuck feelin this pain
if thats how its gotta be……”
It is a soft acoustic song that he sings very well.

“Set us Free” has great drums and the chorus is like a mantra. It will bring you peace. It has great lyrics near the end, but I can’t find them anywhere to quote them directly. You are going to have to trust me.
“Bobbin” is a bouncy song that isn’t afraid to Rock. The drums are fun as hell, like chasing midgets through a field.

“Free so Free” is wonderful. It has a laid back grooooove. J sings about conflicted love. His voice is multitracked for a unique and soulful sound. The guitar work is varied, one moment he is playing an amazing solo, the next doing a lovely acoustic thing, then back to a solo that exposes the heart of god that is hiding in all things. The feeling he plays with on this song is inspiring.

“Everybody Lets Me Down” is the best song he has ever done. Everything that is great about his work comes together and gels in this song. It starts with a goofy wurlitzer (not the Prozac Nation author) and J singing in falsetto. The drums kick in, the song speeds up and the lyrics codify some of my most mixed up life philosophy.

“… any time it seemed okay
had to wreck it, couldn’t wait
i know there’s something better
oh no…
(chorus)
everybody lets me down
all this time i’m never found
everybody lets me down
i go outside and look around
i never quite set on the ground”
The guitar solo is perfect and shouldn’t be sullied by description. It is a great song to drive very fast down an open road to.

“Say the Word” is four minutes of the best guitar and drums he has recorded. J said in an interview that having his own studio freed his songwriting in that he didn’t have to worry if his drummer was capable of playing what he was writing, and this song shows that freedom. His drumming matches the wild spirit of the guitar work perfectly and provides one the most creative jams I have heard.

The rest of the songs are great. “Someone said” is a soft song that is prophetic. “Outside” has J singing slightly different and it is one of his best vocal performaces. “Tell the Truth” is another great rock song with effed up tempo going on.

To sum it up, this may be the best music J Mascis has made. He has grown as a songwriter and musician. It is good to see that the nieve belief I had in some of these musicians when I was younger wasn’t wasted, that J and others have proven to be formidable creative forces over the long term. The reunited original line-up of J, Lou and Murph proved their relevance on their recent tour and their new album will drop in the spring. This album showcases J at the top of his game.
Now go buy it. If you live in the northern areas, don’t forget to wear a hat, you don’t need to catch a cold.

Thank you.

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Few things in the world live up to their billing. Head-On? Nah. The Decemberists? Get out of here. Hershey Squirts? Maybe. Jessica Simpson? About as sexy as Rebbe Jackson, without the class. The internet? A place for creeps to rape your eyes with their ugly myspace pages.

It was with this heart sick attitude that I approached Ol Dirty Bastard’s “Nigga Please”. I was told, by a trusted friend, that I “had to check it out”. Maybe it was fate, maybe it was Jesus, maybe for some strange reason it was Howie Mandel, but I took his advice.

My life changed forever.

Nigga Please is the alpha and omega. It is the blood in your muscle, pumping at three in the morning. It is crazy, not “crazy” like Weird Al, crazy like a riot. ODB reaches the point of true zen in this cd, where he is just flowing with whatever comes out of his head. If I had to fight you, and maybe I will someday, this will be playing. It makes me feel like the Duke of Windsor when I listen to it. It freed me from the white man suburban life. It gave me back my soul, and my penis.

Recognize
This song starts the whole party off in style, with Chris Rock. It has a funkass beat, relaxed but simmering with sex. There are some junky keyboards. The key is restraint. Chris starts in yelling that “this ain’t no commercial shit!” Dirty then kicks it in, his sexy voice rapping about stuff related to the music scene. “It’s rowdy outside, I ain’t signin’ Shit! Duck low, Bitch!” He is aggressive sounding here. He is pissed off. I like it.

You don’t want to fuck with me
The song is bass heavy. Karate music sadly playing in the background. ODB raps with some intense, off the cuff funny stuff “You ain’t shaggy anymore, DA…I ain’t in your ballgame…I don’t answer phones… I will never reveal the Wu Tang secret…” The chorus is song so horribly that it transcends all ugly and becomes beauty. Even the profanity is uglylovely. The song de-constructs as it goes, ending in utter gutter nonsense, a burp and screaming, like all songs should. I wish i could quote some of the lyrics, but some goddamn kid might read this and tell his mommy about the swearing. If you really want to impress the womens, teenyboppers and pirates, throw the John Mayer out the window (right now! go and do it!) and put this on. Finally, this song will give you unbeatable chi energy, that is a scientific fact.

Rollin Wit You
This is one of my favorites. It is insane. Ol dirty is concerned with white people, mothafuckas, taking over the rapper’s game. He is none too pleased with the other rappers allowing the white man to take over, you can take my word on it. He admits to being the only black god. he throws his arrest warrants back at the “po-po”, saying he will have “their fucking asses locked up”. The song is built on a wonderful piano sample. It gets a nice religious twist with the chorus, sung softly, “jesus, I’m rollin wit you…” Jesus in referring to ODB, aka Big Baby Jesus, but I prefer to think it is about the hippy like saviour.

My favorite phrase is when he claims to “control Michael Jackson’s Thriller”. Makes sense to me.
Now, don’t get me wrong, my tone here. I am making fun of my own white self, writing this. Don’t dismiss odb for one moment. The song is crazy brilliant.

Baby I Got Your Money
This was the hit song, easily the most accessible. ODB raps over a big fat bass line, with hooch mammas singing backup. It is the kind of song you might play in vegas, in town for a little “spongebob squarepants”, if you catch my drift. It is a sexy, dirty song. Fun dirty, like the ex president. All you gaywadd bubble bath and champagne enthusiasts should take notes, here. ODB is kicking the sexy out without even trying. Sexy can’t be fiegned, mofo. Either you got it or you don’t. ODB does. He may not be pretty like the Backdoor Boys, but you know that he would get you womens rolling. I will have to save this discussion for my Grand Unified Sexy Theory.

now…

I will be honest here. It is just me, the reviewer, and you, the reader, right? What is a little secret between friends? This is the internet, after all. Here it is… Let me whisper it…. I am struggling with this review. I cursed myself at the beginning, with the Taoism comparison. You cannot really do the traditional song by song review of ODB, or even really review him. Doing so takes something alive and insane and “whites it up”. I don’t want to be the cracker laughing at ODB… “He so crazy!”. What he has achieved with this cd is incredible. It is a classic, like an old kung fu movie or a Dodge Dart. To compare his rapping to other rappers misses the point. The ODB that can be reviewed or compared is not the eternal ODB.

Who should listen to this? Everyone. If you cannot stand profanity, you need to hear it, it will loosen you up. Hipsters? Please. Dick and Lynne Cheney? Yes. Jenna Bush? Baby, she does. Trust me. SAHMs? Yes. Teachers? You get the drift. I just softly suggest that ODB may do for you what he did for me, change my life.

This is the most important record of the twentieth century.

Pros
True “Sanford and Son” ethic; brilliant and crazed; Coleman Young-like profanity

Cons
The white man threw him in jail, not for the Contemporary Christian crowd

The Bottom Line
It will change your life, for the better.

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